Know Yourself: Burnout, Boundaries & Better Conversations

By Sarah Watz, in conversation with Maria Redig

Running a service-based business can be deeply rewarding, but it can also leave you emotionally drained if you don’t learn how to care for yourself while you’re showing up for everyone else. In this blog post, we explore how communication patterns, stress, and lack of boundaries often keep entrepreneurs stuck in overwhelm, and what to do about it.

The insights come from a conversation with Maria Redig, a psychosomatics therapist, executive coach, voice and sound therapist, and communication expert who helps leaders find their voice without losing themselves. 

(If you don't want to read, you can listen to the podcast episode or watch the conversation on YouTube.)

The Parent, Adult, Child model:

The key to understanding yourself and others

One of the most powerful frameworks Maria brings to the conversation is the Parent, Adult, Child model. While it's often used to understand communication, Maria shows us it's much more than that. It’s a way to understand your internal world, your stress responses, and your leadership habits. 

This model helps you identify which part of you is running the show in any given moment:

• The Parent mode tends to control, judge, or over-function. Often out of a sense of duty or learned behavior.

• The Adult mode is present, grounded, and clear. Able to say “I think,” “I feel,” and “I want” with calm confidence.

• The Child mode is emotional, avoidant, or fearful. Usually tied to unresolved needs or past experiences.

Healthy communication happens when we speak and listen from the Adult mode. That’s where we pause, breathe, use “I” statements, set respectful boundaries, and stay open. But under stress, we often shift unconsciously into Parent or Child modes.

Maria explains that the moment we recognize which part of us is leading—Parent, Adult, or Child—we can shift from reacting to responding. The PAC model becomes a compass not just for communication but also for stress, boundaries, productivity, and decision-making.

Once you understand this model, you can:

• Recognize your patterns when things get tense
• Step back into your Adult mode when needed
• Understand what may be driving the other person’s behavior
• Reduce misunderstandings and emotional flare-ups

This framework isn’t about controlling others. It’s about leading yourself first.

Burnout: When your inner Parent is in overdrive

Burnout isn’t just about workload. It’s often about the internal pressure we put on ourselves. When stuck in Parent mode, we overfunction, try to solve everything, and rarely pause. When our inner Child feels unseen or not good enough, we might overwork to prove our worth.

These patterns aren’t just emotional, they show up in the body: tight jaw, shallow breathing, restless sleep, constant tension...These are signals; the longer we ignore them, the louder they get. 

Meetings, boundaries, and emotional dynamics

The same patterns shape group dynamics. Have you ever been in a meeting where someone dominates the room or constantly interrupts? They may be speaking from Parent mode, trying to lead without listening, or reacting from Child mode, needing to feel seen.

Maria explains how bringing everyone into Adult mode, setting expectations, using tools like a talking stick, or starting with a grounding breath, can shift the entire energy of the room.

For service providers, boundaries can feel selfish. We often say “yes” because we care, want to overdeliver, or believe we’re being helpful. But when you say yes to everything, you're slowly saying no to your well-being.

Maria reminds us that you can't support others well if you constantly abandon yourself.

Boundaries are not walls. They're the frame that holds your work, energy, and time. Without them, you end up exhausted, resentful, and misunderstood.

• Some real-world shifts include:
• Defining office hours and sticking to them
• Clarifying how and when clients can reach you
• Saying “not now” without guilt
• Separating home and work (even if you work from home)
• Valuing your pricing and energy equally

If you’re giving more than you’re receiving, you’re not serving, you’re bleeding out. 

When avoidance is a warning signal

Maria also speaks to a pattern many entrepreneurs know too well: avoidance.

Avoiding that meeting. That email. That follow-up.

Often, this isn’t laziness or disorganization. It’s fear disguised as procrastination. A younger part of us (the inner child) may be afraid of rejection, conflict, or judgment. That’s why we keep pushing the task to tomorrow.

Instead of pushing harder, Maria encourages us to pause and ask:

What part of me is scared right now? And what does it need to feel supported?

Practical support could include:

• Talking to a trusted friend before the conversation
• Writing your thoughts down first
• Practicing the talk out loud or role-playing it with someone safe
• Breathing and calming the nervous system before you engage

Avoidance isn’t a flaw. It’s feedback. We regain clarity, presence, and choice when we pause to understand what’s underneath.

Simple tools for daily regulation

Here are a few of Maria’s favorite tools you can use anywhere. Whether you’re feeling overwhelmed, scattered, or need a reset: 

1. Breathe with sound

Breathe in through your nose, then exhale audibly through your mouth with an “ahh” sound. Let the sound carry your tension out. Count your breaths if it helps you focus.

2. Use your body

Massage your jaw, forehead, and temples where tension builds up. Shake your hands, arms, and shoulders. Loosen up. This helps release stuck stress energy.

3. Write it out

Keep a journal by your bed. Dump your worries, to-dos, or thoughts before sleep. Don’t type, write by hand. This slows your mind and creates release.

4. The quadrant method

Use a simple 2x2 square to sort tasks into: 

• Important + Urgent → Do first

• Important + Not Urgent → Schedule

• Not Important + Urgent → Delegate

• Not Important + Not Urgent → Let go

This tool helps you focus on what actually matters—and let go of what doesn’t.

Managing group dynamics without getting drained

Meetings can drain or energize depending on how they’re run. When people dominate, overshare, or interrupt, it’s often a sign they’re operating from Parent or Child mode.

Bringing the room into Adult mode can change the entire dynamic.

Maria recommends:

• Appointing a clear meeting leader
• Starting with breath or silence to ground the group
• Using a “talking stick” to give everyone space (yes, even on Zoom!)
• Setting time limits and expectations around participation

These small shifts create presence, safety, and better conversations—whether in your business or home. 

Have you ever joined a meeting and immediately felt like the air got sucked out of the room?

 Knowing yourself is the first business skill

Maria closes with this powerful reminder:

If you don’t know yourself, you’ll constantly misunderstand others.

The more you understand your inner patterns, the better you can set boundaries, recover from stress, communicate clearly, and confidently lead.

Your voice matters. But it’s hard to speak with clarity when you’re running on fumes or carrying the weight of old patterns.

The good news? You can shift. One breath, one boundary, one brave conversation at a time.

Want to go deeper?

You can connect with Maria on LinkedIn and read more about her on her website. She offers coaching, therapy, and workshops that help people unlock more energy, clarity, and joy without burning out.

Bonus Downloads

• Download the Parent, Adult, Child model
(PNG)
• Download the Quadrant Prioritization Tool (PNG)
• Print Maria’s reflection on what it means to truly listen (PDF)

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